Confessions of a 29 year old...

OK, so for those of you who don't know me well enough to know this, I have some REAL anxiety about my next birthday. Not like the funny, make-a-joke kind of anxiety but the makes me hyperventilate a little, brings a tear to my eye kind. So, I have been trying to figure out the root of all of this before that dreadful day in July rolls around. I think that it's honestly the fact that I am not where I thought I would be. Please, spare me the marriage and baby sob story, it's not the big clock ticking. I never had a real plan but I feel like NOTHING is different in my life than it was when I was 22. Obviously, I don't have the marriage and kids, but I also don't have a real career, or I don't do a lot of traveling, nothing. So, that thought makes me think that maybe I am just stuck and can't remember all the differences so I am making a list of the things about my life RIGHT now. Here goes:

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY LIFE RIGHT NOW:

I LOVE living around Louise and Leigh. I love our family time and that I get to see them most everyday.
I LOVE that I make enough money to usually cover all the bills and can buy most anything that I want. (Usually being the operative word in that sentence)
I LOVE being a member of the University CoC.
I LOVE working with Faulkner football.
I LOVE that the last few years me and Daddy have gotten to go see so many Tennessee games. I LOVE this time together.
I LOVE my dvr. Shallow, possibly, but true none the less.
I LOVE sharing the 31 thing with my Mom. It's just fun to have something like that to do together.
I LOVE talking to Gin most mornings.
I LOVE getting to go to the Philippines with my grandparents every year. I LOVE going to the Philippines. AND, I LOVE getting to go with my grandparents.
I LOVE gummy vitamins


THINGS I HATE ABOUT MY LIFE RIGHT NOW:

I HATE working night shift and sleeping during the day.
I HATE the aforementioned birthday that is looming.
I HATE the shape I am in right now.
I HATE how busy I am.
I HATE that I never get to see any of my friends.
I HATE how many things I have to miss out on with my family and friends because of work.
I HATE the electrical system in our house.
I HATE going to school every Monday night and HOMEWORK!


THINGS I DREAD RIGHT NOW IN LIFE:

I DREAD moving from here and my family and my new niece or nephew. DREAD IT. I know I have to because I can't live the rest of my life just living here because of them but I DREAD it BIG TIME.
I DREAD changing careers, I know, again, that it's crazy but what I do has become a lot of who I am. Even though I hate the stress and the shift work, I love the family of emergency responders and the fact that I am doing something that actually makes a difference.
I DREAD moving to a new place. Here there are people that need me sometimes and I honestly love that. I hate the idea of moving somewhere alone where no one knows me, much less needs me.


MUSIC I AM LOVING RIGHT NOW:

I Need You Know by Lady Antebellum
My Best Days by Danny Gokey
History In the Making by Darius Rucker
American Honey by Lady Antebellum
Wrong Baby Wrong by Martina McBride
Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble
Whatcha Say by Jason DeRulo
I Pray Fro You by Jaron & the Long Road to Love
Smile by Uncle Kracker
Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You by Kellie Pickler


things that are ALWAYS in my kitchen now:

Maple and Brown Sugar Quaker Instant Oatmeal
Simply Lemonade with Raspberry
Simply Orange juice
Fuze Cranberry Raspberry
JollyTime 100 calorie bags of kettle corn
Smart Ones and Lean Cuisine meals
Progresso Light soup
FiberOne bars
Nature Valley bars
Thomas Multi Grain english muffins
Weight Watchers cream cheese
Skinny Cow desserts

MY TO-DO LIST FOR THE FUTURE:

Go back to the Philippines at least once every year
Go back to Greece
Go to Moscow, the Virgin Islands, Hawaii, Costa Rica, Australia, and about a million other places but those are off the top of my head. I'd also like to retrace one of Paul's missionary journey's.
Buy a house
Pay off my car and student loans
Have a job I love and pays plenty
Go on a vacation. A real, week long, don't have to get out of bed or put on anything besides a bathing suit kind of vacation.
Do yoga regularly
Go on a cruise with Leigh
Teach a high school girls Bible class
Have an organized house
Be a Tennessee season ticket holder
Go to an Olympics
I will be able to forgive and forget


Who knows how much of this will be different and/or accomplished in 5 years, to be honest, I can't remember a lot about how life was 5 years ago. Maybe though I'll be able to read this five years from now and remember what life was like now and be more appreciative of where I am then.