Tales From the Single Side...It's Just Like Anything Else

...dating, that is. Or, having a crush, or being in a relationship, or being in love. It's just like any other habit. Take fingernail biting, for instance, there are people who bite their fingernails constantly. It is, obviously a gross habit (not to mention an unsanitary one), but if you are in the habit of doing it, it is almost impossible to stop. However, if you use hot sauce or a product like No Bite, you can kick the habit. Smoking, drinking, picking your nose, dragging your feet, whatever the habit, it feels almost impossible to quit until you actually do. Then, you go hours then days then weeks then months to eventually years without doing it again. Here is where the problem comes in. Once you haven't bitten your nails for years, it is REALLY hard to start back up. The desire is gone. And now that you don't do it anymore all you can see are the negatives from it. See where I am going with this?

Dating or "being in" whatever is exactly the same. There was a time in my life when I went from relationship to relationship to crush to relationship to "love" to...well, you get the point. Anyways, it has been a long time since I have been on a date. No, put a time period on your version of "a long time" and double it, maybe triple it and then you have an idea of how long I am talking. The one date that I can actually remember going out on was terrible. Let me give you my version of terrible:

Guy works with girl. Guy has hardly ever seen Girl but talks to her on the phone pretty regularly and finally asks for Girl's phone number. Guy asks Girl out many times but Girl is always busy and doesn't particularly want to go out with Guy. However, Guy finally backs Girl into a corner. So Girl gets ready to go out with Guy who is a super nice guy but she's just not into him. Girl does not feel like you have to go on a date with someone to know if you are into them or not. However, what's done is done and Guy picks Girl up. Guy didn't plan the date but rather asked Girl where she wants to go. This already is going down hill because this is one of Girl's pet peeves. Girl picks a restaurant and a movie. First, Guy and Girl head to the restaurant. Guy asks Girl if she likes a certain Christian artist. Girl tells Guy that she doesn't really listen to much Christian music, actually she likes talk radio. Guy can't believe and spends five minutes lecturing Girl on how she should listen to Christian music. Next Guy asks Girl if she has read "The Five Love Languages" This is not the kind of book Girl would read for fun. The title bores Girl. "No." she answers. She has a friend who read it and liked it but it is not really the kind of book Girl reads. She prefers fiction. Guys spends the rest of the ride to the restaurant on how good the book is. Next there is a fifteen minute tantalizing conversation about what Guy and Girl will be ordering that I will spare you. The Guy asks Girl if she ever gets to watch or read Joel O'Steen (sp?) stuff. ***sigh and eye roll*** "No." Girl's nerves aren't good enough to watch Joel O'Steen. (She leaves that part out and just replies "no."). At this point Girl advises Guy that she won't be able to make the movie afterwards because of the time and then tries to change the topic. She tries politics, sports, ANYthing besides religion. Don't get me wrong, Girl is a Christian and does in fact love God. She just can't take anymore religious talk on this first date! Changing the topic DOES NOT work. EVERYthing somehow manages to work it's way back to religion. Finally, dinner is over and Guy and Girl get in the truck to go back to Girl's house. Guy asks Girl if there is anything else that she wants to do. Girl quickly replies "no." and says she really doesn't have a lot of time. Next, Guy says (and I couldn't make this up), "Have you ever been to that Family Christian book store?" Girl now believes she is being "Punk'd" and starts looking around the truck for the hidden cameras. Guy seriously asks Girl if she wants to go walk around the Christian bookstore. Girl has to answer that she has been there but would rather just go on home. Thankfully, the date ends soon. And ends without so much as a hug or even a false promise of another date. However, even a year later, Guy still seems to be under the delusion that it went well and keeps asking Girl out.

Terrible. Geez. If you think it was hard to read about you should have been there! It does have to be said here though that Guy *name changed to protect the innocent, is one of the nicest, sweetest guys I know and deserves someone way better than I am and I hope he finds her (soon).

Back to my point, I'm sure after my last heartbreak there had to be a time when I wanted to have a crush on someone again or at least the "butterflies", even if I wasn't ready to actually jump back into full relationship mode. I can't remember such a time but since I am positive I am still alive and am not gay, I just assume there was. However, since so much time has gone by, all I can remember are the bad points to dating. The bad dates, the rejection, the neediness of another human being, the irritating habits of men in general, the questions and thoughts that take over your brain and allow you to think of nothing else, and the strain on your free time. So, I have decided to jump back on the bandwagon and try to find someone to go on a "date" with this Summer. I can't force myself to have the "butterflies" or really be interested but I can force myself to give it a fair try, even if it is only to get myself back in the game.

Ick. The thought makes me sick (literally hurts my stomach)but, it has been pointed out, how grossly "all about me" I have become and I am trying to branch out a little. Maybe God will surprise me (in a good way this time!) Either way, you have to get back in the saddle sometime, right?