Grief

I know these pictures are small but since I don't have a scanner I had to bootleg them off of Summer's blog. The first one I think just describes Matt more perfectly than any words could and the second one is Matt with some of his best friends from GCS. From left to right, Adam (who was killed in Iraq a few years ago), Matt, Blake Hunter, Mike Johnson, and Matt Malone in front.

I am well aware that I haven't blogged in a month and can't even remember the last time I read a blog. There are a lot of things that I have not had time to blog about in the past month, my birthday, Dirt's birthday, my vacation, Mom and Dad's anniversary, and going back to work at Faulkner. And, I will eventually. But right now I have got to blog about how I am feeling because, thank God, the feeling fades into something different very quickly.

I believe that grief is kind of like child birth. God made us to where we can't REALLY remember grief because we would never be able to go through it more than once if we could. You forget the the way you hurt so badly that you can't concentrate on anything else. You forget how you feel like someone is in your head screaming "WHY?" making the rest of the world sound like Charlie Brown's teacher as they try to carry on conversation with you. And how you even have to remind yourself to breathe. You can't remember that you can drive four hours and make seven turns and never remember any of them. Or that you can drive by yourself for two hours in the middle of a hot summer day in south Georgia before you realize that you haven't turned on the radio or even the air conditioner. I also believe you can never pray like you do when you are consumed with grief. And I believe that even when I look back and read this and try to remember how I really felt I won't be able to understand my use of the word 'consumed'. I thank God that the feelings fade and that the memory of them fade.

After I worked at Faulkner yesterday I drove down to Valdosta and buried my friend Matt today before driving home to work tonight at 911. Matt is the second classmate that I have buried and I just can't believe it. My school wasn't like other schools. There were only about 100 people in the high school. If you weren't a part of it you can't understand that it is less like schoolmates and more like family. Of the 100ish people that were in school with Matt some 10 years ago, probably about 50 were there to bury him today.

I have been to some very hard funerals and, the reality is, I will probably be to some more in my life. None have been, and I can't imagine any being, any sadder than this one because of the facts. The most important of those facts being that Matt leaves behind three little boys fatherless, ranging in age between 7 weeks and 6 years old. If you have read this please say a quick prayer for my friends family and especially those little boys. This family has more healing to do than I can fathom, I can only be grateful that God is in charge of that healing.

Leigh!

I know I am terrible about doing this on time but I can't go without celebrating my baby sister's 24th (I know! UNbelievable!) birthday! Without further ado, here are 24 things about one of my favorite people in the world!

1. When she was little she was always too short and skinny for her age but she NEVER has had a problem defending herself!

2. Boys have always loved Leigh! It's funny that she now works over Cornerstone when, it wasn't too long ago, that she was practically their little mascot.

3. She once got suspended from middle school because the teacher walked in and she had a little (punk!) boy up against the wall, completely off the ground, giving him the business. Her excuse to mom and dad? She had told him if he did it again that she would beat him up. He did it again. Well?

4. She has had more "best friends" than anyone else you know.

5. She is almost a perfect mixture of high maintenance/girly girl and tom boy.

6. She shares a birthday with will Ferrell.

7. She has inherited a love of Fox News from her big sister. Bill O'Reilley is her favorite.

8. She absolutely LOVES Disney and ABC Family movies.

9. She was the most accident prone kid.

10. Her first "accident" happened before she even turned one, when she broke her collarbone, trying to break out of her crib.

11. She works with the prison ministry at our home congregation and does an amazing job!

12. She loves Disney World like a little kid does.

13. She is definitely the bug killer at our house!

14. We have lived together in Montgomery for three years.

15. Her favorite color is green.

16. Just as always, she LOVES green dinosaurs!!

17. Her arrival was the reason that I was shipped off for my 5th birthday! (her birthday is just two days before mine)

18. She once put together an amazing scrapbook for my Mom's 50th birthday.

19. She always gives the best presents!

20. She could eat Mexican food every single day of her life.

21. She will not try "new foods"

22. you ALWAYS want her on your side!

23. Funfetti cake is her favorite.

24. She is one of my favorite people in the world and I feel so blessed to have her in my life!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEIGH! I HOPE THIS IS YOUR BEST YEAR YET!! ILY

VENT!

These are the things that I am super frustrated about today!

1. That no one else but me will move the rug in front of our door when it slips to the side. TWO other people live here but they just step over it instead of pushing it back so no one trips over it!

2. My face is peeling! For the love!

3. Bad drivers in Montgomery! YOU are going to cut ME off and then give me the finger when I give you a courtesy honk?!?!?

4. Jon and Kate's getting a divorce.

5. Last but MOST important, I was just at Wal Mart and got in the shortest line (FOUR people in front of me) and it was obviously WIC day! All four people in front of me used WIC and one bought TWENTY FOUR individual servings of Ramon Noodles and FOUR packages of steaks!!! THEN, while I was gathering my bags, the cashier asked the lady behind me if she was using WIC and she said YES! I am ALL FOR helping those in need! Really, I am. However, there is SOMETHING wrong when I am in the minority by NOT being on WIC AND more wrong when I leave Wal Mart thinking, "I need to either quit working or get knocked up!"

Tonight me, Kristen, and Barry went to the Biscuits game. I was so excited because I had taken the night off (night sleep!!!!) AND it was fireworks night! I REALLY love fireworks and was extra excited because it was Military Appreciation Night. Our section had to race the section next to us by passing a huge Alaga syrup down the entire section. We won and all of us got these tiny bottles of syrup. As you can tell, Barry and Kristen were REALLY excited to get theirs! I wish that I had pictures of the people sitting in front and behind us....wow. :^) It was a super fun night and I am just loving having Kristen here! Next post will probably be from our family reunion....I'm SO EXCITED!

VBS 2009

Let me just start by saying, I LOVED VBS as a kid. I had one of those great mom's who took us to every VBS within a 60 mile radius and it makes up some of by best memories as a kid. Now, I had to preface with that so I didn't sound like such a butt when I said I HATE VBS as an adult (and I use that term lightly!) Look, I actually think all sane adult humans do, there are just a very few who are brave enough to admit it out loud. I always am involved only because I want these kids to have the same good memories that I have and I know that for me to have those memories there were a lot of adults who had to endure through volunteering at VBS so I choose to also. I love the idea of VBS. But me, Louise, and Leigh along with only five other adults were responsible for all THIRTY-TWO 1ST AND 2ND GRADERS! What can I say, there are only a very few "bad apples" but it's like the fighting in Vietnam was, they all look alike so it's hard to tell which ones are the enemies! Actually, there were some pretty fun times and the whole show was UNBELIEVABLE! The teachers that taught the class and decorated everything were amazing! however, I am glad it's over :^)







The older kids getting ready for the last night!

Cannan Field

Noble Field

The locker room at Noble Field

Noah's Ark/ the boat Jonah was thrown off

The "adults" that took on the 1st and 2nd graders. From l to r front to back. Kristen McCants, Leigh Walker, James Powers, Leslie Adams, me, Louise Jones, Lance Tucker, and Chrsi Brodie

Football Camp!

Me after two fun filled days of football camp!

Coach Baker helps Lee show em hot to get it done!

Ryne is well over six feet tall, Cameron is pushing three!

Maybe a future Eagle?

Yeah....what can I say? I love them!

Faulkner Football camp 1st-5th graders

Cameron was one of our favorite campers!

That's Dev's mean face! "THERE'S NO SMILING ON DEFENSE!!!"

Dev studying how Parker is getting it done!

This is Lee, Coach Baker's nephew. SO STINKIN CUTE!!!!!

That's me going down our own home made slip n slide that ended camp!!!! SO FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The boys having some fun after the kids left!

I really wish I had video of this!

Cam volunteered to get things started...such the heart of a servant! ;^)

Not much to say about football camp that these pictures don't already say except that I never imagined how cute and fun it would be! I also underestimated how very sore you are the day after you slip n slide! WOW! If you want to see more pictures http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=87502&id=500618172&l=4cad4c656b

there are over 50 here! Also, I posted some more super cute videos on YouTube!

The Days AFTER Memorial Day

So, we got home from Nashville at about 1:30a.m. Tuesday morning. At appx 3a.m. Kristen woke up sick. She woke us up a few minutes before six saying she needed to go to the Dr. PriMed doesn't open until 7a.m. but we were there when they unlocked the door. She got in about 7:30a.m. and by 8:45 we were on our way back home with the diagnosis of a stomach virus and she was high on drugs. The Dr had given her a shot of phenergan and demerol so she was pretty out of it. However, NOT out of it enough to not tell me that she was about to be sick in my car.

We only had to cut over three lanes of traffic, run one red light, and do one u-turn before we were at the closest gas station. I helped her in and right as we got in the door she told me she couldn't make it in the bathroom. I tried to encourage her in but to no avail. So, I turned around for, I PROMISE, no more than twenty seconds to call Leigh to come help us. Didn't matter, when I turned around, there was Kristen out cold on the floor of the Circle K. Oh geez.
The people working at the gas station were kind of freaking out. I just kept calling her name with absolutely no answer. Ok, calm down gas station employees. Leigh, hurry up. Laurie, maybe you should call the medics. Kristen, for the love, answer me.

By the time Leigh gets there Kristen is still down, the medics have been called, and the gas station attendants still kind of freaking out. Before the medics get there we half way rouse Kristen and get her to the bathroom. When the medics get there we sit her in a rolling office chair provided by the oh so helpful gas station attendants and they start checking her out. Blood pressure is obviously low but everything else checks out. She's pretty dehydrated so we get her a Gatorade and she takes two sips and somehow throws up about 64 ounces. I'll bet you're thinking that we are at the worst part of my day, huh? Not even close.

We do finally get Kristen perked up after the medics give her an iv and I get her home as Leigh goes back to work. About 1:00p.m. Kristen is resting on the couch and I have cleaned my bathroom (in anticipation of the stomach virus that is inevitably coming my way) bathroom and am going to try to rest for just a second. (Insert phone ringing here) "Hey, La, I don't feel good. I think I'm going to come on home." Awesome, Leigh is sick. She comes home and lays on the other couch. An hour later she has her face in the toilet. BACK to PriMed. Luckily, the same Dr is still there. I'll bet you think you know were this is headed, huh? Bet you don't.

We get to PriMed about 3:40p.m. and get back in a room about 6:15p.m. Nurse and P.A. assume she has the stomach bug. Medical school for that, huh? Can we get her shot and go? Nope. Pee in a cup and we're going to take blood. Awesome again. Leigh LOVES needles. This just keeps getting better. After all of that fun the Dr comes in and says how he;s surprised she isn't in the hospital already. Huh? Yep. A severe kidney infection. The good news? there is a 50% chance that you'll get better from today. Bad news? 50% chance you'll end up in the hospital.

Oh wait! Speaking of the hospital. Wondering where Louise is in all of this? She should be helping, right? No can do, my friends, she has taken Dirt to the ER for what appears to be an appendicitis. Good day, huh? The Dr gives Leigh the same shot he's given Kristen and now is going to give her an iv of antibiotics. Yay! Another needle experience. Nothing makes an exhausted, unshowered, big sister feel better than to watch her baby sister have another go round with the needle. So, a round of antibiotics and THREE bags of fluids later, the doors of PriMed are locked and me and Leigh get to leave.

I get her home and in her room and go to check on Kristen. Leigh calls. I run in there just in time for her to throw up on me, herself, her bed, and her floor. Oh. Huh. I've never cleaned up throw up before. In fact, I've never actually been thrown up on before. Did I mention that it's like 10:30p.m. now and I'm EXHAUSTED?!?!? SO FAR beyond tired. One new round of sheets and one more round of throwing up and by midnight they are both in bed. I literally fall asleep thanking God that I don't have children and letting Him know that they have to be better by tomorrow or I WILL have to call reinforcements in. Leigh only woke up twice and Kristen none but I woke up at EVERY little sound! WHAT a HORRIBLE night's sleep!

Anyways, Kristen was feeling better the next day and it turned out Dirt had kidney stones. By Thursday Leigh was eating solid foods, no one had been sick in 24 hours, and I amazingly hadn't gotten sick! Praise! Kristen went to school on Thursday, I went back to work Thursday night, and Leigh is going to work today, Saturday! WE MADE IT!!!!!! YAY! It wasn't pretty and there were DEFINITELY times when I didn't think we all would but WE DID! Hope your week was better than ours!!!!

p.s. there was one bit of AMAZING news from the week......I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNT!!!!!!!
Don't run over to Louise and Leigh's blogs just yet, it's Lisa that is going to provide me with a little niece of nephew. She drove in town to tell me in person. Unfortunately, that was Tuesday and I was at PriMed :^( Please keep her in your prayers and I'll keep you updated!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!